Stand With Steve

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Dec 20 Daily Reflection

Stand With Steve

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For the past few months I have been writing these daily reflections and not very sure why I started just seemed like a good idea at the time. As the winter months set in and it keeps getting colder and colder I find myself battling writers block.

I really have no purpose or direction in anything I do in life and when it comes to this area of my life nothing has changed. I had the most amazing six days in palm Springs with Tony Robbins and had some amazing breakthroughs but like with everything else in my life nothing last very long.

I find myself battling everyday to just get out of bed and want to do something, what exactly I have no clue. Maybe all the drinking and drugging I have done over the years is what really keeps me from moving forward in life. I get people sending me messages and thanking me for doing what I did oddly enough I wish I knew what it was I did.

I guess I will always have up and down days and someone out there will give me some great feed back and advice and what they don’t get is I have been there and done that!

I know all the tricks and tips on changing but the problem is I guess I am just not ready to change as much as I think I am…….. 


  1. Pablo says:

    Steve, I have no authority to give you any advice (plus, you didn’t ask for one, but… what the hell, I’ll do it anyway….), but I know I have been there before (hehe!). Usually being an entrepreneur can often lead to that phase.. when you have a job at least you can keep busy following a routine but if you want to start something “yourself” you have to come up with something and organize it and lead it yourself, so to speak. I think it can be part of a phase of discovery, but you have to be able to push yourself beyond that once you get an aha-moment & a plan by taking a decision and following through. Currently I’m a student and I still don’t really know what I want to do after college or how I really want to contribute, I only have vague ideas, but at the same time this phase of learning (being rather “self-focused”) needs to be gone through before I can actually give something back of value.
    But in the end I think the key is to get outside of yourself and focus on how you can serve, and – especially – to get some accountability – another person can really push you forward to take action, especially if they depend on you for the completion of certain tasks or whatever – plus it makes it more fulfilling ’cause you’re adding more needs such as connection,… to the equation. Plus, I would move & get outside of the house, plan some sports or something… getting in emotionally resourceful states just for the sake of being open to what could be possible would probably be a good step… being able to snap out of poor patterns of behavior is truly a difficult one to master but if not, the most critical… or you can always do something creative to kick you in the butt again:

    • Thanks Pablo!
      I guess I have been at a place in life that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired again. I am realizing a lot of the stuff I might be doing has nothing to do with who I really am and what I should be doing. My belief system has been out of whack ever since I got sober and I started believing in things because I was lead to think it was the right thing to do and after Date with Destiny I am feeling my whole life has been nothing but a lie and it is time to stop lying to myself.
      I reflect back a lot on the type of person I was when I worked in construction and in that field to be good you had to bust your ass and go strong and hard all day long and to be truthful I enjoyed the hell out of it. I guess you can say I was caught up in the macho life of construction and everything I have done after it has not been that “Macho” to me and I see nothing as a real job that men do! I know my thinking is all over the place but that is who I was for so many years and I kinda liked it because it made me feel like a man!
      Since I have been out of sports and stuff like that I have lost a lot of my drive. So I am feeling it is time to grow some balls and get back into life and do what I know best! I feel as though when I got sober I lost my identity and felt maybe I needed to change and be a little kinder and gentler because it was the right thing to do! Hmmm not feeling it to say the least! Have to just be me! Thanks for the feed back !

      • Pablo says:

        I really get that, I felt the same thing after leaving the military,,, it’s easy to get emasculated in a society that tends look to be O.K. with everyone instead of facing the truth for real growth – I think there’s an intrinsic masculine pride and fulfillment when you get to work so hard you feel you have given everything for a worthy cause, that feels amazing. So that seems like a good idea of yours

  2. Ask Dan says:

    Hi Steve,

    Like you, I find myself struggling with ‘writers block’ from time-to-time, but then I realise that all I need do is open my eyes and view all the inspirational things around me – kind of puts things into a perspective.



    • Thanks Dan!
      I feel as though I write from the gut and a lot of time it is my own opinion and not so much inspirational. I look at what other bloggers write and it is cool and all but all of that fairy dust stuff is not who I am and I have been struggling with keeping it going and I have to realize it just ain’t me!
      Writing about the “Light” and all of that crap is not in my DNA and so I don’t mean to offend anyone it just isn’t me! If I am going to write about something chances are people will get offended and it is not my intention to offend them but it is who I am. I had a long facebook conversation with a lady about my views on mental health and depression/bipolar issues and she was getting pissed and demanded an apology from me and I felt I owed no one an apology and if she got offended then so be it!
      You see in today’s society people feel you have to do and say everything to make them happy and screw you! So my inspiration comes from a place I can’t explain and when people want me to start apologizing so they feel better then I am through! Maybe this will change but it is how I see it and feel about it today! Thanks!

  3. Ask Dan says:

    Good Morning Steve,

    It is never easy to wrestle with a personal dilemma, especially one of conscious. After reading your response, I would note that you are not and cannot be, responsible for how others act or react. You can only be responsible for you and how you interact with the world around you.

    In my search for absolute truth (big fan of Socrates), I find myself, on the odd occasion, in disagreement with others, at which point is simply choose to either respect their decision / view point or moderate my own, if I am proved wrong, and then continue upon my journey.

    They say that life has many roads, but I choose to believe that we are the masters of our own destiny and that any direction we follow is of our own making. Whatever road you choose to take, I wish you every success with it. May your journey be one of learning, growing, discovery, sharing and yes, even inspiration.

    Kindest Regards,


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